SYNOPSIS

There is a toxic landfill in every person's mind where the unpleasant seeds of life are dumped. Some take root and become weeds; some are later plucked. For one Caddy McCoy, however, the garden of life is constantly overgrown with interlopers. And so she finds herself awakening one morning to a hard-boiled, all-out, day of depression and painful memories. Normally the master of numbing pain, she tries to cope with the tidal wave swallowing her by reverting back to her comfort zone. She turns to the compassionate ear of her life-long companion to rehash the story of her life, Caddy's usual therapy. It is occasionally a jubilant journey, more often a devastating path of destruction. Though fictionalized, all of it is based on true experiences witnessed by the author growing up in the Deep South.

Staying Wet is set in the Bay area of Alabama beginning in 1955 when Caddy is a carefree five-year-old girl reveling in breakfast with Bee Daddy and playing on the boardwalk. Then in an instant, the dreamy, steamy life that she knows is forever altered. Never again will the horizon look the same to Caddy McCoy. Still, she is a vivacious, spirited girl and she embraces life with gusto. Often too much so.

Caddy's story is Southern fiction at it's best, wandering

SYNOPSIS

between quirky characters and peculiar situations inherent in a land of too many mixed genes and too much Jack Daniels, interlaced with tragedies that surely seem magnified because they're Southern. The book takes Caddy from her early years off into college, on to becoming a mother and long beyond, until the then 60 year-old alcoholic takes off her rose-colored glasses to reflect back on her life through different prisms. It's then, back at a Bay home in 2010 that the beloved, yet complex main character bares her soul to tell all.

The narrative of the book is richly comic, embracing girlish dreams, crazy escapades and rampant sex; it's a poignant rendering of death and dreams dashed, of unspeakable tragedies, and certainly far too much alcohol stirred into the mix. The story is hypnotic, like taking characters from Forrest Gump and Fried Green Tomatoes, then updating them to times of Sweet Home Alabama and a Highway-20 ride, where the character wonders why, when she looks back upon her life, that she slowly dies inside.

To add to the progression of Caddy's life stories, there is an ongoing mystery threaded throughout the tale. Who is Caddy's companion to whom she bares her soul? There are subtle hints sprinkled along the way, but only in the book's

SYNOPSIS

culminations is it revealed that Caddy McCoy has been lured into the arms of her addiction, and her lifelong companion is none other than Mr. Jack Daniels himself. It is into his arms that she exorcises her demons on her days of laying-in and hashing through the black veil that has been her existence.

As someone who lived in Alabama for a decade growing up, I've seen far too close the pain of painted worlds where ladies, gentlemen and cute, well-behaved children co-exist on peaches, ice cream and feigned affection while masking the inconveniences and pain that the "real world" might bestow upon them. As my friends said then, like my character Caddy now, "everybody should believe in something, and I believe I will have another drink."

Please join Caddy and myself for a day in bed with my book in one hand and your poison of choice in the other.

EXCERPTS

Caddy
Somehow, when she came round to remembering what she was supposed to remember, she would slowly turn her stiff neck and smile at her best friend. She would then say, in her beautiful, slow and sexy southern drawl, "Hey honey, are you awake? I feel like hell and my tongue is stuck to the top of my mouth again. Now I know it's mornin' and all, but I need the hair of the dog or else I'll never get out of this giant, lonely bed."

Her days usually veered one of two ways. Either she was happy and ready to get on with her day chatting with friends... Other days she would feel a "nasty spell" creeping up, indicating it was going to be one of those terrible days. The kind of day she and I both dreaded but always got through together, hand in hand. "I know you have heard and lived my stories but somethin' tells me I had better get it all out again so that I can feel better."... Here it was again, a lay-in for the day and a life story that I could recite better than her.

Hush Puppy
As far as Caddy could tell, her Momma loved both her kids equally. But Hayes was like a day at the beach with perfect weather and no sand on your large blanket, while Caddy

EXCERPTS

Hush Puppy - cont.
was a day at the beach with perfect weather but with lots of sticky sand all over your too-small towel... This particular day seemed to linger on for an eternity and Caddy could not wait until the big hand was nearing five. She went back down to the pier around 4:30 p.m. with her dog Crimson, named after, "The Crimson Tide", Momma and Bee-Daddy's favorite football team. She looked out at the stark horizon...

As she sang and dipped her toes in the water, she could smell the hush puppies frying in Odessa's kitchen along with other typical, southern dishes. She once asked Odessa why the little fried balls of sweet cornbread were called hush puppies. Explained, Odessa, "when there is extra dough left from the cornbread batter, I like to fry it up and throw it to Crimson who is always jumpin' around in the kitchen growlin' for scraps... and I tell him, hush-puppy." Then she laughed and said that she sees it the same with white folk. The sweet balls are so good that if she throws a bunch on a plate they all hush up while shoveling them into their mouths.

A Girl with An Itch
Sure as after your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee, Caddy grew into a wild, carefree and often thoughtless teenager...

EXCERPTS

A Girl with An Itch - cont.
In those days, they loved to go to a bar called Judge Roy Beans where the real fun did not start until midnight. Although 16 was the legal drinking age, no one much cared. The bar owner's motto was "if you can see over the bar, you are old enough to be served"... Caddy was especially known for her last-minute comebacks, as well as her ability to down the last shot of Tequila, which included the worm at the bottom. It was a bit crunchy, and Caddy swore it was just like eating a pickle... Laughs are easy to come by in such a small town. But the small town also seemed to have more than its fill of hard-core partyers with trouble always nipping at their heels; For some reason, there is an unwritten rule that just when someone is having too much fun, they will be slammed with mud in their face.

Dip Sticks
The only double-edge to the inheritance was that recently a young man had come forward claiming to be the bastard child of Bee Daddy. He was 25, good-looking and charming, but tricky-as-a-snake and more trouble than anyone need be. Uncle Avery would normally not succumb to such nonsense, but he knew his brother better than anyone. And he was certain that Bee Daddy had dipped his stick a few places he ought not to over the years...

EXCERPTS

Dip Sticks - cont.
Why the young man had not come forward sooner, Caddy didn't understand, but he had his excuses. She could just hear Jim groan, "Excuses are like behinds. Everybody's got one and they all stink". Although Caddy did not like Richard or "Dick" as she thought more apropos, she didn't totally begrudge him a small share of the ruins from her father's fortune... Teenie, who was now living alone with Jim, chose to ignore the bastard news, deny that it could be possible, and spread the word that the new "Dick" in town was never to be mentioned in her presence. I swear that she put on another 10 pounds the day news of the boy reached her.

All Grown-Up
After a fit of hacking, Caddy got her wind back and requested a glass of cough syrup. She reminded Roshanda to make sure it was not too hot; lukewarm was the age-old cure. The worn-out housekeeper rolled her eyes to herself, but decided not to fight this one. She sensed that Caddy was under one of her bad spells and knew it was not the time to moralize...

Teenie had sworn by this recipe throughout Caddy's childhood. Caddy recalled that it had miraculously cured every bad cough since she was about five-years old....

EXCERPTS

All Grown-Up - cont.
Roshanda grew into a wise woman and with it came understanding...

Cough Syrup for Grownups:
2 ounces bourbon whisky
½ lemon, juiced
2-4 ounces water (optional)
1 tablespoon honey

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